Monday, 17 September 2012

Reader Request: Think Carefully Before Marrying a Peruvian

Updated 4 October 2015

Got your attention, didn't I? I was thinking about making "Think Carefully Before Getting Married" the title, but since my blog is about Peru, I figured I'd tweak it a bit. I'm not saying that you shouldn't marry a Peruvian, but what I'm saying is that marrying a foreigner can be more difficult than marrying someone from the same country or culture. Americans marrying Americans have usually been brought up similarly and can relate to many of the same things. Americans marrying Brits might have some difficulties, but their background is often the same. However, Americans marrying Peruvians often have many difficulties that they encounter. My marriage ended after nearly 8 years. Here's what I had to do to get a divorce in Peru.

Love is blind and everyone knows that, but it doesn't stop us from jumping in. Try to learn Spanish. You'll be treated differently than if you speak English all the time, it'll help you assimilate to Peru, and it'll help you understand your spouse. If you're looking to learn Spanish, check out Fluenz Spanish, Rosetta Stone, and Synergy Spanish. Don't forget to read up on Peruvian culture, it will help you understand more about Peru and its people, including your in-laws.

Online love
With the internet, more and more people are marrying people they met online. While it's good in one way since the focus is getting to know each other mentally rather than physically, I also think it's really romanticised and people get married too quickly.

A bit of help please
I get countless emails from foreigners, mainly from the US and the UK, but other countries as well, such as Canada, Germany, etc, asking me what docs they need to marry their Peruvian sweetheart. I wrote the post how to get married in Peru in order to help people out. I also get lots of emails asking me how to divorce a Peruvian because things didn't go according to plan, they felt like they had been used for visas or money, or cheating occurred.

Pedal to the metal
More often than not these couples have known each other for less than 2 years. Sometimes the foreigner wants to live in Peru and sometimes they ask me about visa info to go back home. More often than not when the foreigner wants to live in Peru, it's "forever".

I'm going to live in Peru forever
I can't help but smile and shake when I see that a foreigner wants to live in Peru forever. It's got nothing to do with Peru itself, but living in a foreign country forever is the hard part to understand. Many times these people have only spent a week or so in Peru on vacation and have never lived outside their own country. They don't speak Spanish and their plan is to teach English. While I myself am an English teacher and blog about it at TEFL Tips, I will admit that it's not easy. Especially in Peru. Older people have a tougher time than younger people. They're leaving their careers, benefits, and decent salaries behind.
  • Jobs: Teaching English doesn't pay that well and there are minimal benefits. You often have split schedules and have to cater to people who don't want to study, yet think that you hold the secret to teaching them English. There are other jobs available, but Peru isn't known for its high salaries. Expats get great packages, but if you're already in Peru when you're hired, you're often given a local contract which means you can kiss those high salaries, benefits, and perks out the door. If you want to work in a Peruvian company you'll probably have to learn Spanish and you're going to need a higher level of Spanish than being able to ask "how much is this?" and "where's the bathroom?"
  • Cost of living: While many people are thinking, "but the cost of living in Peru is so much cheaper," I know that this is partly true. If you want to live like a local then the cost is cheaper, but other things are more expensive. We rent out our apartment in Surco. It's a walk-up on the 4th floor with rattly windows, no heat, no insulation, a minimal kitchen, two baths (but one's outside and doesn't work) and very poorly laid out. While it has 80 m2, it's unfurnished and has no parking space. We rent it for $400. That's a lot of money in Peru where the average salary is about $500 a month. Most English teachers are earning about $10 an hour (if that, which comes out to about $800 a month). Whereas in the US you'd pay about double that ($800), but have a much nicer place. In Peru a higher percentage of your income tends to go towards housing. Transport is cheap in Peru, if you want to take combis. I did for years and they took forever, stopped at green lights, went at red, were driven by maniacs with dirty fingernails, had people crouching down in mini-vans, fighting over fares, bribing police officers, making me angry and stressed out. Many expats drive or take taxis due to this. Electronics are much more expensive in Peru. The good news is that food and household help is pretty cheap. You can live ok in Peru if you don't expect to live like an expat, travel, or save.
  • Other concerns: If you're going to have kids, education is another concern. Public schools are appalling and private education usually starts around $10,000 a year. Some of the better schools run as much as $25,000.

Taking my Peruvian sweetheart back home
Just as you'd have problems living in a foreign country, your spouse-to-be will also run into problems. Many Peruvians miss their families much more than we miss ours. Getting things done can be harder. Peru is a country of flexibility. Laws are grey, not black and white. Emphasis is put on helping people out, doing favours, and bending the rules. Time is another issue as it is rigid abroad whereas in Peru you have "hora Peruana" and "hora Inglesa" and most Peruvians prefer the former.

Hindsight is 20/20
Flexibility seems to be the key in Peru and marriage is no exception. Many Peruvians have parejas rather than spouses and having children out of wedlock seems more excepted, which is odd since Peru is such a Catholic country. Despite this, divorce is also very common. The only legal marriage takes place at city hall; church weddings aren't legal.

Unfortunately, many divorced foreign wives that I know ended up divorcing due to their cheating Peruvian husband. While it may be more accepted in Peru or people turn a blind eye, that's usually the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Think before you leap
I'm not saying that you shouldn't marry a Peruvian. What I am saying is that I think many people get blinded by the fact that they're going to marry a foreigner. They tend to think less and move more quickly than if they were with someone of the same nationality. When really, the opposite should be true. If you're going to marry a foreigner, you need to think twice as hard as you would if you were marrying someone from the same country as you.

I know plenty of happily married Peruvian-foreign couples. I also know plenty of happily divorce or bitterly divorce Peruvian-foreign couples. Marriage is a decision that will affect you the rest of your life, so give it some thought and time before you jump in. 







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65 comments:

  1. Wow, Sharon, you sure got my attention! Bi-cultural relationships are challenging, but when you work at it over the years and find that you're getting it right — especially when you're raising children together — it makes the marriage that much more rewarding.

    Abrazos,
    Rick

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  2. Rick,
    :) Yep, I knew the title would get people's attention. Nothing against bi-cultural relationship, I just think a lot of times people have no idea what they're getting into.

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  3. A lot of good points here! I'm married to a Mexican and my father was a Guatemalan immigrant, so the cultural clash shouldn't even be that big but goodness is it ever. After 5 years of marriage, we still find ourselves surprised by our differences sometimes! Flexibility and trying hard to understand how the other person's culture influences their behavior can be extremely helpful, but also the knowledge that you are most likely going to sacrifice a lot by marrying someone from another country. The sacrifice might mean giving up some of your own cultural expectations of gender role or time, your idea of the perfect place to settle down and raise kids, the kind of home or vehicle you will have, etc. I think the sacrifice is worth it, as long as both people are willing to put in their share! But it can fall apart fast if either person feels they aren't up to the challenge of all that sacrifice, as in any marriage.

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    1. I married a Bolivian girl 12 years ago.I went to live the dream in Bolivia that lasted about 6 months.We split up.I left for Brazil and found love with a Brazilian. I am now single back in the USA. I am still married to the Bolivian. It has been so. Hard to divorce I just gave up.HAHS.I need a divorce but it will require a lot of money and a US attorney which I have not paid for to this very day. So guys take warning.I was also left by a beautiful Peruvian girl for no reason after 7 yes that was a heart breaking time

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    2. Hope you're able to get a divorce and move on with your life.

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  4. I really enjoyed reading this post, I am American and my wife is Peruvian. We have been married for almost 7 years and just recently moved to a small town just outside Cusco called Huarocondo and opened a bed and breakfast. I decided after my second trip that I loved the country and would have no problem moving here, I love the small towns and slower pace you can find there, my in-laws live in San Ramon and I always look forward to visiting them.
    There is one thing that you kind of mentioned that I thought I would expand on. If you are planning on moving here you need to have patience, nothing seems to happen very fast and it always seems that half the people you see to get paperwork done, don’t know what they are doing. We have spent more time going in circles because person A sends you to person B, who sends you to person C who then directs you back to person A. Despite this and other differences from the US, I love it here, if you approach life with an open mind the good, most often times, outweighs the bad.

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  5. Thanks Amy G and Lyle & Lily. Lyle have you ended up getting Peruvian citizenship?

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  6. Hello. I just found your blog trying to get some advices to travel abroad Australia or New Zeland. Im Peruvian but I laugh a lot whith this post, well It´s hard to live here just like another country I think. I lived in the States for almost a year and I liked, I stayed in a small town in Colorado and it was a huge difference with my hometown. But yeah we have our things, just like another place in the world where money rules. However, if you have love you´ve got the strenght to fight against dificulties just to make people you love happy. Have a good one, chica bonita.

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  7. OK its a tough one here. I am of peruvian descent but grew up in the US,my background allows me to talk about my people and the way they behave. If you can deal with a wife who is glued to their mom and dad beyond eternity then go ahead my friend and be my guest! About the experience about living in Peru i once heard a saying that if you do not have something good to say about something or someone just remain quiet so I will!. hope that answers your questions....good luck

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    1. Thanks for that. It's hard for me to sit on the fence. I'm American and acquired Peruvian citizenship through marriage. I left Peru back in early 2010. My husband just went back to Lima a couple months ago. I don't think I could ever go back though! You can never go back. . . you have to move forward!

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  8. Its a tough one here...I will be stright forward about peruvian women since i am peruvian but lived in the US so i do have an open mind (not to say that peruvian men dont have one) if you can live with the fact that your so called wife will be attached to her family beyond eternity then go right ahead and be my guest on this quest. Men are mostly cheaters by nature because its the macho thing to do and corruption runs in the countries vains in every scenario. I hate to be so straight forward but it is what it is. I often need to remind myself that is my country and i need to love it but with the kind of citizens we have is often really hard to accomplish it. so yeah, Peru love it or leave it!

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    1. Cheaters by nature. . . that sucks!

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  9. hello!, thanks for your good articles. I`m from korea,24 years old. I meet a peruvian for 220 days on internet. In korea, we have negative ideas in internet relationships. However, i can feel my love is true and i decide to travel to Peru. Depend on my culture, it is not a good idea, but when i see your arcitles, I feel confidence. I don`t have a good idea, because it is my first time to meet a girl in internet. What do you think of?

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    1. You're Korean age 24, so you're western age 22? Have you talked about where you're going to live afterwards? What job she's going to do? Meeting online is getting more and more common. There are nice people out there, but there are also people who just want to marry you for the visa.

      There are less than 1000 Peruvians here in Korea. There's a strong community here, so she could fit in.

      Flights are very expensive from Peru to Korea. Are you able to pay for that? More importantly, what do your parents think about this?

      I can't really answer your questions, since it's between you and the girl you met online. You'll both have to do some thinking though about the future: costs, jobs, where you're going to live, etc.

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    2. Thanks for your prompt reply. i`m a boy and i will get a job next year in korea. she is peruvian age 17. She is a freshman this year. I still have not talk about residence with her. One day, i asked her do you want live in korea? She said yes but she worry about her family, because she has a big family in peru. I still not think about living in peru.

      I don`t know about Peruvian communications in korea.

      What is visa? I don`t know.

      My family agree with me. Because it is my first time to travel another coutry and I think we need meeting in real-world.

      We have a common awareness. Although we face a difficult situation, we support each other. We believe we can live together.

      I`m not sure our future. For now, i think meet each other is batter than think about other things.

      I don`t know how is our future going.

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    3. Alrighty, you need to do some research. Visas are permission to live, work, or visit another country. They're stamped in your passport.

      She's 17. She's too young to legally get married. She's got 5 years of university ahead of her. Why not wait until she's finished?

      You need to meet her. Make sure she loves YOU and not the idea of getting out of Peru. Meet her. Keep in touch for a couple years. See what happens after she graduated uni.

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  10. is there South central Asian Community in peru, or middle eastern Arabs? im one from Bangladesh like to stay and work at lima.

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    1. I know there are some Indians, but I'm not sure about SE Asians. Have you contacted the Peruvian embassy in Bangladesh? They might know.

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  11. I am from Australia and am marrying a peruvian woman who is a naval officer and a Lawyer, and entitled to Military housing for 4 years. I will have some savings to take with me, am doing the TEFL, learning spanish, and have a diverse array of skills from IT, Nursing to hypnotherapy and sales. in fact, I can sell anyone anything only constrained by my own ethical boundaries. I fell in love with my fiancee almost 4 years ago, and met recently for a month and fell in love yet again. So I am moving no matter what I do.. I have changed careers so many times and I am a Richard Branson type of thinker so I can not fail no matter what I do. I will be living in Lima though as that is where the action is, and of course, my wifes base.

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    1. Congrats! Sounds like you have everything sorted. Good luck!

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  12. Hahahaha! I just had to laugh at this article! I married my husband back in 1986. I had the husband who was glued to his mother! My relationship with my inlaws was sooo schizophrenic. Then my husband died and things got way worse for awhile, then finally things got much better as the point of contention was gone. I am very close to my inlaws now and when my MIL died I can honestly say that I grieved and missed her.

    FYI, as I write this, I am currently in Peru visiting some of my DH's cousins to whom I am still very close.

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  13. Hi, I am trying to get some information/advice. I married a Peruvian girl in 2006 and immediately when she arrived back in the UK as my wife she changed into a snarling, violent monster. Surprising then that we lasted 4 years. I went for a divorce in the UK and was told this was not possible as I was not legally married. My lawyer explained that was because I did not get the medical exam and we married in my wifes family home. I even accepted her explaination of meeting the man who married us on a street corner and handing $50 over in exchange for a brown envelope which contained our marriage certificate that he was on his lunch and doing her a "favour" Also I did not attend the civil office with any paperwork (which i have subsequently found out should be a huge pile) and the only paperwork I actually signed was the paperwork you initially get from the British Embassy and the paper I signed on the day and no paper containing a marriage notice was handed over on the day, in fact no notice was printed.

    Does this sound like I am a complete mug and was taken for a ride for a spouse visa

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    1. Your wife got a British spousal visa based on the marriage cert? From what you describe it looks like fraud. While it's totally possible to have the marriage ceremony at someone's house, you still have to go to the municipality to submit the initial paperwork and then go once again to hand in the newspaper clipping of the wedding announcement. And in order to get copies of your marriage cert you'd have to go to RENIEC; not meet someone on a street corner. Sounds like you were screwed. I'd try to sue her for fraud. Report her to the authorities in the UK.

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    2. I have just reported her through the Home Office website. Will see how things go.

      I never went into the municipality as she had apparently taken care of everything. As I arrived Wednesday evening and got married on Saturday I only just had time to sort the paperwork that I knew was required from the British Embassy and buy some shoes. Thinking back, the papers I submitted and got back stamped by the Embassy were never actually used, but I suppose they would have asked questions about the marriage when applying for the entry visa if I had not gone in there to sort them out.

      Many Thanks for your reply.

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    3. Yeah, sorry, but you got screwed. You BOTH had to go to the municipality to sign documents to apply for the marriage license. You BOTH also had to sign the marriage certificate. Hopefully she'll get what's coming to her.

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    4. Just a follow up on this....Do you need a "permission to sign a contract visa." to sign a marriage contract or is that just for business?

      Thanks.

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    5. Nope you don't. It's for business transactions such as buying property or signing a contract to work for someone.

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    6. Hi Sharon. Would you have access or be able to point me in the direction to the regulations for marriage in 2006 in Peru? I am trying to get hold something that hasnt been updated to take into account new and subsequent rulings. My Spanish is not good and so direct contact isn't really an option. Many Thanks.

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    7. The requirements vary by municipality. I also got married in 2006 and the requirements were basically this, http://theultimateperulist.blogspot.kr/2008/12/6c-marriage.html

      Smaller towns might be more flexible and waive some of them. Hope you're able to get a divorce.

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    8. That is what I thought. I am currently going through the legal process, she has said that we did not need a medical as we were living together for almost 12 months and also that the registrar took care of the newspaper edict even though I never went into an office to sign anything before or after. The ceremony was organised through San Antonio, Lima but they are being less than helpful. Im just trying to get hold of something official from around 2006/2007

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    9. I got can only share my experience and that was in Piura in February 2006. They never asked if we lived together. They just told us to get a medical. As for the newspaper, we had to go in person and pay and then take a newspaper clipping to the municipality. I think you might need a Peruvian lawyer.

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  14. I know that I can actually say that Peruvian girls want to marriage with anyone outside Peru, specially Americans, Europeans and Koreans, but it depends on the case. I'm turning 28 y/o in July, but I'm in love with a Korean girl...maybe I MIGHT think on marrying her, she's very cute and kind with me; we talk everyday through IM and she's really interested in visiting Peru, she's 3 years younger than me; but in my case I have some concerns, first about job and if I can mantain her in Peru or in Korea (depending towards her parents' decision obvioulsy, I learnt a lot about Korean culture)
    The good thing is that I'm multilingual, I speak almost 7 languages and the seventh is Korean actually, I have a degree as an English teacher but laboral situation in Peru is getting worse day by day, now I'm unemployed but I'm very hardworking and self-competent...I really wish I can have my family when I'm in my 30s, have a beautiful korean peruvian daughter with her. That's my dream :)

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    1. Speaking a lot of languages can be useful. Teaching doesn't pay that well. Maybe you can try to get into business. Hope things work out for you. Good luck!

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    2. Yes actually teaching English here in Peru and almost worldwide, is not as favorable as it used to be years ago, the laboral demand it's so fulfilled with teachers...I kinda regret studied Education as a degree but what gives, at least I can communicate with anyone in English with no problems, as I'm writing this reply now lol
      I can asure that some men wouldn't mind marrying a foreing girl, but not all Peruvian men want to take that "challenge", most of us are just contented with a normal Peruvian lady, but depending on the social class situation, in some marriages things doesn't go well since it's said that Peruvian men tend to be the "macho" in the social background...but this is exagerating in lower social backgrounds.
      But in my case, I just to have a happy and blessed marriage with my k-girlfriend and start up our family.

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    3. Have you looked into teaching at an international school? You could get a job anywhere in the world. Try looking at http://www.tefl-tips.com/2008/11/international-schools.html

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  15. C'mon Peruvian women are not desperate for Koreans or Europeans or any other foreigner. Don't get the wrong idea.

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    1. Some are, some aren't. That's how the terms puentero/a and buscagringo/a came about. And it's not just the women. Men can look for a way out as well.

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  16. Hi! I just found this article and I must say some of you (sadly), just came across the wrong people :( Where did you guys meet your partners? O_O It has been really sad to read some of the comments.

    Being Peruvian myself, I know what flaws some people have in terms of education and behavior, but I think it all depends on the background education.

    For example, I have many friends who are married to foreigners (Germans, Brazilians, Canadians, French, Chinese, etc.) and they live happily in spite of the cultural differences. My friends come from humble and hardworking families. I think it’s a matter of which values you were taught while growing up. To be in a relationship you need patience, empathy, loyalty, communication, etc.

    To the gentleman who said Peruvian men are mostly cheaters by nature, again, it’s a matter of your background education, in my opinion. If you have been taught which things are good and which are bad, you will know what to do. My parents have been married for 32 years; they met when they were 18 and 21, and married six years later. My father’s siblings also have long running marriages as well as many of my friends’ parents’ (although there are some exceptions of course, nothing is perfect).

    Anyway, what I think I’m trying to say here is that I’m really sorry that some of you had to meet some disloyal people, I wish you could have met someone who was worth your time and your love.

    I wish you all the best, and may you all be happy :)

    PS. For those who meet a girl/boy for a short period of time and “oh heavens”, she/he wants to get married asap… run for the hills!! As you say, marriage is a very important decision that you can’t just make out of the blue. Most of the scam cases are because of this. Please, be sensible and careful.

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    1. Agreed. Not a decision to make lightly.

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    2. Nicely said! I am American, and my husband of 6 years is Peruvian. He is amazing. It's not about being a certain race, it's about your upbringing, education, etc. My husband was from a poor family but he was still taught good morals. We live in Seattle & are both professionals.

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  17. i'm cecilia.. i'm from indonesia. I chatting with peruvian on internet. i'm 28 years old and reading this article make me thinking about him. Many country said peruvian is bad person but so far He is so warm and kind. don't fast judge people like that because we don't know him because well.

    maybe many peruvian doing that for money but still have a good people in there. i belive that.

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    1. Hope it works out for you. Let us know how it goes.

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  18. Hello, i just land on this article ... And I think that your bad experience doesnt reflect how a peruvian is. Like a girl in your comments said... What kinda people did you met ? First you have to check their background.. not all Peruvians are like that.

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    1. Unfortunately many people have had bad experiences with Peruvians. Even Peruvians will warn you that they as a nationality have a bad rep to be bricheros.

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  19. Hi, really happy this post is still active. I really enjoyed reading everyone's stories as I initially came on here looking for potential pitfalls of moving abroad for love. Unfortunately my story does not differ from some on here. I met my Peruvian husband here in the uk and I am British Caribbean. We met, I taught him English he taught me salsa, the fairytale began. We married 18 months later and yes he needed a passport which did make us marry quicker, all in the name of love!!! I loved the idea that he was hard working and I felt the cultural differences was a bonus. His Peruvian friends loved talking about attractive woman and lots of banter was shared. 4 years into the marriage little comments started coming through but negative ones. Jan, massive argument which he instigated! He talked with his friends and told them he felt our marriage was over! I don't think he expected their reaction, as they told him they felt he only married me for the passport. Although he told me this we continued and things felt good.We went on our first summer holiday with his brand new British passport, had what I thought was an amazing time. He told me he wanted to stay in the UK and make it his home. 2 months later he tells me that his feelings had changed, he doesnt feel the same way about me as he did. He told me that he was superficial, that image mattered too much to him and that I had put on too much weight, and he felt I wasnt going to change as he had mentioned my weight many times before. Oh plus I had brought a ticket 2wks before to go back to Peru that Christmas!!! After Peru I felt we where ok!!
    Since March 2015 something didnt feel right!!!! We went on holiday I was hoping that time away and an adventure would bring things back to normal. I'd left my unwell Nan to go on this holiday because I felt it was important for our marriage. On the holiday he made no effort to make me feel that I was his wife or that I was important so I ended it on the holiday with 1 week left. He didnt reasure me, I felt he was running out the door!!!
    Everyone told me he must have met someone else but I didnt want to believe it!! Since then I realised the reason he literally ran was because he had met someone else!
    I stumbled on your page because I was looking to see what would make someone move to another country for love. I was married to him for 5yrs, been to Peru twice and I wouldnt move their, but yet him and his new love has moved there together!!! Suspected cheating started Feb they moved to Peru December!!!
    For anyone doing something like this for love be very careful!! Even if our relationship had ran it's course naturally, because he now has a British passport of my back literally it throws a shadow over our whole marriage. As much as the marriage was quicker because he wanted to be here because he loved me and I wanted him to stay,I am now left feeling I was cheated. So for anyone thinking to commit be careful because when it ends you will never know if you were an easy ticket or love that just didn't workout!!! Find a middle ground, divorce is painful!!
    PS I don't think all Peruvians are bad but unfortunately I saw this page and decided to share my bad experience! I wished it could have been a positive one!

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    1. I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't think all Peruvians are bad either. You have to think carefully about getting married period. If you're from different cultures and especially if you have different passports there's even more to think about. Sorry he got a passport off you. In the bright side, it was only five years so you can quickky divorce him and move on.

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  20. I'm an American who also had bad luck with a Peruvian man. All was great until we moved in together - then suddenly he became helpless (expected me to do everything) and stopped treating me as nicely as he had been. I'm not sure if he ever cheated on me but once when we were discussing fidelity, he said "it's only important to women"....that told me all I needed to know - and at the same time, I learned that a lot of Latino men are privately attracted to male transsexuals who dress like women - talk about confusing....so I am done with it. I have sympathy for what Peruvian women must deal with in a culture where men hold the power....

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    1. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm glad you moved on.

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  21. Dear Sharon I am from India like a girl in online Dating site. Here is her profile http://fdating.com/profile?id=+2200098#.VzcIq73hXqA
    She left her last boyfriend 3 months ago who was of 48 yrs. But the reason she says It is custom in peru that women leave men. So I am doubtful or in Dilema that If I make relation with her then she might leave me. She has also asked money visa fee & plane fare as she wants to see India. I THOUGHT I might move to peru if She is good but her nature seems to be doubt ful but when she chats you feel very good. What should I do??///

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    1. First of all, a lot of people have viewed her profile so I wouldn't be surprised if she's talking to many guys at once. Second, it's not a custom that women leave men. That's just dumb. And a 20 year age gap between her and her last boyfriend? My guess is she's looking for someone with money and that's confirmed since she's asking YOU to send her money. Don't. It's a scam. She has zero desire to visit India. India is super far from Peru. That means the plane ticket will be expensive. You send her the money and you'll never hear from her again. Block her and move on. She's a scammer.

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  22. Hi Sharon i am an indian.i am 26 years old. I am in a relationship with a Peruvian girl.she is 24 years old. almost 9 months of relationship. I am working in ship and she is studying in lima for chef. She always talks with my mom and i do talk with her mom finally we decided to get marry and she said she is ready to live in peru. As she likes indian culture she said she understood all the indian cultures and she can adapt that. We are planning to get marry. Even we didn't see each other but we always do skype. I suppose to be in lima by july but unfortunately my visa got rejected so i panned to be in lima by next year februvary. Her family is inviting me to lima and we are going for a civil marriage in peru. So what you think i need your advice and what all documents i require for civil marriage in peru???. Even we had lot of fights but we solve everything and fight never longer than 20 minutes

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    1. Hi! Congrats on your engagement! You can find the info you need about getting married in Peru here, http://theultimateperulist.blogspot.com/2008/12/6c-marriage.html

      Good luck!

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    2. Dear Sharon

      I'm an Indian. Me too In a relationship with a Peruvian girl. I'm planning to visit Peru nearly as possible. what are the documents I required for civil marriage in Peru? The link you shared which is not working now.

      Delete
    3. The link is working just fine. Here it is again, http://theultimateperulist.blogspot.kr/2008/12/6c-marriage.html

      Delete
  23. I've been dating a Peruvian and I am in love for sure. I have been to peru 3 times and spent 1 year there with a bank account, apartment lease , phone , Internet and was really starting to adjust to life in San isidro /Miraflores whlist trying to take classes online from an American University. When it cMe time to start , Microsoft wouldn't allow me to take securities classes outside the u.s.a. so, I am back in Baltimore where I hate it . I love so many things about peru . Especially the food, the dress of the people is 10000% better than here. Most take pride in how they look. Buuuuut, the traffic is terrible. The wifi is extremely slow. And people don't have the same manners on the street to strangers as we do here in the u.s. exmaple. .. opening the door for someone. Walking into people because everyone is staring at their phone. Cars don't give pedestrians the right of way.
    All-in-all , I miss it and miss being away from my sweetie. I found her on ok.cupid and just got lucky. She has a great job and makes more than i. She has footed the bill for dentist and paid for our trip to Barcelona and machu piccu. I tried to pay but she would pay in advance . Jajajaj.
    I want to get married but with her large family , it seems difficult to fly everyone to the u.s. I don't want to marry In a foreign country and told her we can always have the church services in peru for her family . We want to both move to a completely new country once were married and I'm not sure what the best way to accomplish this. Should I ask her to wait another year and get married In our new country or marry now in u.s.a. what happens if we need a divorce? Do we both have to return to the u.s. to finalize the divorce? Are prenuptial agreements valid in peru if they were signed here? Do you need to be a citizen to sign a prenuptial agreement? I guess that's all for now. Great website . Nice up to date info . Thanks for the reply

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Sharon (naturegirl321)Saturday, 06 August, 2016
      Glad you found the love of your life! Church services aren't legal ceremonies in Peru. You would have to get married at the municipality first. I think getting married in Peru or the USA is easier. Personally I would do the USA since if you want a divorce it's much easier to register a foreign divorce in the USA. I got married in Peru and divorced in Korea. I had to re-divorce in Peru. It was expensive and time consuming. I re-married in the USA and they had no issue with my Korean divorce docs. Plus it's on your turf. That's just my opinion. Since you don't plan on living in Peru there's no benefits to marrying there. To register my divorce in Peru I would have needed tons of docs, to pay a lot of money, and wait a long time. For the USA all I had to do was show my apostillised Korean divorce docs with their translations and they recognized them and said I could get married.

      Pre-nups would be valid as long as you went through the proper channels of legalization and authorities. I would definitely contact a lawyer there.

      Good luck and hope it works out!

      Delete
  24. Well, my experience is diametrically opposed. My partner is Peruvian and I am from Bosnia and Herzegovina. Even if we come from totally different cultures, we have so much in common that our relationship is not more complicated than a relationship I would have with a man from Bosnia. Each case is different. I get along really well with his family and I like Peru a lot, even with all its problems. No country is perfect. You have to like a foreign country if you decide to live there, if you don't, you will never be happy there and everything will seem wrong.

    Extrapolating your own bad experience and judging a whole nation based on it is not a proper way to present a country, its people or anything in life. A few years ago I met an American teacher who was extremely surprised to find out that Australians speak English. Imagine if I would apply that to all the Americans... Wouldn't be quite fair, would it? Sorry for your bad experience, but divorces are very common among people of same race, religion, ethnicity, just as they are common among couples coming from different countries. No need to generalize.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was actually happily married when this post was written. Even Peruvians will tell you to be careful about marrying Peruvians. And you must also be thinking carefully. You said partner. Not spouse.

      Delete
  25. Well... I'm a peruvian man also. I'm not a cheater and I don't wanna go outside by getting married.
    I'm loyal to my girl and I wanna go outside to study because education is better abroud and I'm not interested in any american, europeon or korean.
    The fact that you guys had bad experiences with peruvians doesn't mean that all peruvians are bad people :(
    Some peruvians don't have to pay por small apartments or have to use public transportation to go around the city. It depends on the person you are married to. Of course if you marry a non educated peruvian man or woman, who didn't finish college or who doesn't come from a good family. You will go thru more difficulties. Even if we are considered a third world country, there are some of us who are well educated and know how to behave properly.
    By the way, you gotta think carefully before marrying anybody, not only a peruvian.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure what you mean by "go outside by getting married", but I'm glad it worked out for you!

      Delete
  26. I'm really glad I read this post now, I am an English girl on the verge of getting married to a Peruvian. I was just looking into the practicalities for getting married here in the UK, as opposed to in Peru. It seems harder here in the UK but I wonder if its more sensible in the long run, having seen the comments re getting a divorce etc.

    I was wondering, do you have any advice on the actual marriage rights if you marry in Peru as opposed to somewhere else? I am thinking or are the laws international. I am thinking of financial rights, or rights maybe if we have a child who would have the right to custody afterwards. This is my main worry about getting married in Peru.

    How does it stand with getting a pre-nuptual agreement, does anyone know? I definately intend to do that to protect myself. Many friends have told me, whatever you do, protect yourself financially, as there is only one thing worse than someone cheating on you, and that's cheating on you AND walking off with half your life savings afterwards when they started with a lot less.

    I met with my fiance over a year ago in Peru, we spent a hile travelling, and it has been me funding the relationship which to me is a constant source of worry, although we have been working on various projects together, we hired a restaurant to run for example for 3 months. We are very much in love and I find him much more open and warm as a person than anyone I met in the UK. In a year and a half, we have spend 3 long periods apart and I have no worries about him having been unfaithful, but for the first year of the relationship I did keep talking about this topic, to make it very clear that infidelity is not something I would abide even once, and I keep noting his friends situations, I am sorry but pretty much all of them have been unfaithful and most of their wives / partners have kicked them out as a result and they are trying to get back in. I have to say, it seems to me that Peruvian girls are beginning to kick ass and show they are changing perception the of infidelity in Peru and that it is no longer accepted even thought I am sure culturally it has been for years.

    Any advice would be appreciated.

    Liz
    lisettemex@gmail.com
    UK

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It doesn't matter if you get married in the UK or Peru, it will be legal and upheld. I usually tell people to get married in the place where they want to live. (My personal experience: I got married in Peru, divorced in Korea, re-married in the USA. Haven't had any issues).

      So for rights, it would be the same. I would draw up a pre-nup in Peru and get it all notarised there. International laws, that would depend. So let's say you marry in Peru and buy property there, but separate and go to the UK. If you got divorced in Peru, you'd have a better chance of getting half that property than in the UK, because the UK wouldn't have jurisdiction.

      For kids, that's different. There are international laws, such as parental abduction laws, put in place to help families. For the most part though, the person who has the child with them will often get custody (unless that person kidnapped the child). They also look at the child's best interest. So, they might not want you to take the child away from their home unless some place else is better for them. For example, the child lives in Peru for ten years and you want to go back to the UK. It might be hard to have the courts let you leave with the child since Peru is the child's home. That being said, if you agree on things with your spouse it's different. Or if you could prove that the UK would be better. Because splitting time between two countries would be hard. They might want the child in school in Peru and then vacations in the UK. And those vacations don't correspond either.

      Financial rights are often split 50-50 unless there's a pre-nup or you come to a different agreement with your spouse. My ex took everything and I mean everything. And he brought nothing to the marriage. Lives in a paid-off apartment now and doesn't even have the decency to pay $30 a month in child support. I got full custody though.

      Where are you planning on living? If you got married in Peru and moved to the UK right afterwards and then got a divorce in the UK, you'd just get a divorce as usual. Doesn't matter if you got married in Peru. The one issue you might have is if there was financial issues or property in Peru.

      Also, usually things that are yours before you marry stay yours after you get divorced. Not always though. If you really want to protect yourself, get a pre-nup and don't share accounts.

      Have you thought about not footing the bill all the time? Making him pay.

      Hope this helps. Just protect yourself. I'm sure you're in love right now, but you never know what will happen in the future.

      Delete

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