Monday, August 11, 2008

Dating / Advice for Women in Peru

Updated 19 October 2017

The best dating advice I can give you is to say that the majority of Peruvians are fine to date and there are no problems (except for the normal ones that every couples have). However, please be careful since foreigners may be looked upon as conquests. Unfortunately, there are also “busca-gringos” and “busca-gringas” which basically means that they are looking for a ticket and visa out of the country. Some Peruvians are like this, but the majority aren’t.

Speaking Spanish will help you greatly. You'll be treated differently than if you speak English all the time, it'll help you assimilate, and you'll be able to communicate easier with your partner.

I’m happily married to a Peruvian, yet we have had to deal with the stereotypes. According to stereotypes, foreigners are with Peruvians for sex and Peruvians are with foreigners to get out of Peru. (Edited: I happily divorced my Peruvian husband. No sense staying with a liar and a cheat. I wrote this post about thinking carefully before marrying a Peruvian about a year after finding out about his double life.)

If you want privacy, most couples go to hotels. There is no stigma about this. It's just that most people live with their extended family and it's considered impolite to stay at home when you're looking for privacy.

As Peru is a bit of a chauvinist country, women are used to sell everything and many women here accept it. Scantily-clad women are used to sell anything from beer to car parts. Therefore men think that they have the right to whistle or say things to you on the streets. Although they're completely wrong, rude and uneducated.

If you decide to date or marry a Peruvian, be aware that you will probably fight over cultural things. However, if you really love each other and are getting married for the correct reasons and not for visas (it can work both ways, foreigners have been known to marry Peruvians for visas) then things will work out. You can create a family that will learn about different cultures and customs so that when your children grow up, they will be more sensitive to issues such as these.



  1. Hi, Thank you for your article on advise and dating peruvians for women. While I was in Peru earlier this year I did meet a Peruvian who is most charming and we ended up spending 6 days together. I have blonde hair and I hope I wasn't a 'conquest' to him but I did sleep with him and it is quite quick but he said in that time that he loves me and he also took me to his parents ceremonial party where they had been buried to 'meet' them. So now we speak and write emails and he asked me to come to Peru and I asked him to come to Australia but he said he needs a visa to come to Australia with which he needs an invitation from me or $20,000 in the bank which I don't think he has. Anyhow I am a little confused as to what to do because in some way he has touched my heart and I am worried that maybe he just wants a visa. Just thought I would share this as it is a difficult situation as I do really care for him, I just don't know whether to trust him yet or not.
    Thanks on your advice. I will be wary and try to be open at the same time!

  2. Ok, I'd be wary about the invitation letter. Do you have to say that you will support him for his time in Australia? Or are you just saying you know him? DO NOT sign anything that says that you will support or be responsible for him.

    Honestly, it sounds like he just wants the visa. I mean, are you two serious enough for marriage? Is that why he wants to go to OZ? Or does he have other reasons? LIke he simply wants to get out of Peru. Also, be aware that if he comes to OZ and you sign something and he ends up not leaving, you might be held responsible.

    You need to find out EXACTLY what needs to be in that invitation letter, and like I said, Do NOT sign it if it makes you responsible for him.

    One last thing, I know it's hindsight, but I hope that you used protection, because here in Peru, guys are often against it.

  3. Thanks Sharon for your feedback. I did kind of freak out when he said he needs a visa and for me to invite him to come via a letter. Initially he wanted me to just come back to Peru so I felt that was OK but when I asked him if he could come to OZ and thats when he said he needed the visa and I started wondering. Also he mentioned while we were together that he wanted to have a baby as well with me in the future (he didn't mention marriage)! (yikes muy rapido!) so I guess that also allows him in to my country if we did have one I think. Gee whiz!
    Its hard sifting through the crap to get to the truth!
    Anyhow I wont be signing any letter or writing any letter because it just feels like a struggle to make something happen when my life is wonderful now and I have great things ahead.
    And yeah I used protection!

  4. No, no babies, don't do that. Honestly, to me, it doesn't sounds like he's interested in much besides the visa. Good luck with everything!

  5. Dear Anonymous,

    I'm so sorry for some peruvians but sometimes we are so romantic and others are stupid. If you love somebody you can show that. I recommend you to exchange mails asking about his life and return to's better for you. I recommend you to get a Peruvian girl as a friend because we know very well our men; so she can help you to discover his real intentions. Good luck

  6. Anonymous,
    I know these posts were written a long time ago but feel free to contact me. I am an Australian who is in a relationship with a Peruvian and have been going through all the drama and the VISA stuff. If you want to know my story and tell me yours, please do.

    Hope it all works out for you,

  7. Hi I am not sure if people are still looking at this blogspot. But I have recently entered into a relationship with a Peruvian. I am Australian of Spanish and Italian descent but I am blonde and white. My relationship with this guy who is 3 years younger started off normally two months later now we are talking about marriage. He wants me to come to Peru next year to meet his family and if all goes well to get married.He is on a temporary visa but has lived here 4 years, I am scared that he may just want me as a backup incase his permanent visa doesn't come through. He is even talking kids and wants me to have his children. I've had alot of relationships in the past and most of them haven't worked out. Even though he isn't my type, I find his love or pretend love whatever it is to be soothing and comfortable even though I have my doubts so confused.

    Please advice, I think everything is going too quick.

  8. Yep, still looking at this blogspot, I get nearly 3000 hits a month.

    You're right, he may just want you as a back up. But he also may love you and want to marry you. It's only been 2 months. Every relationship is different. WE got engaged after 10 weeks and married 1 year after we started dated. Married five years now and he hasn't met my family. Like I said, every relationship is different.

    I think that you should see how things go and try to visit sometime next year. There are still a couple week left this year, so use the time to get to know him better. And try to book a flight.

    Trust your gut. If you think he really loves you, then go for it. If not, then run as fast as you can.

  9. Ok, I want to make a few comments about my own experiences:

    I had one Peruvian boyfriend before my current Peruvian husband. They both talked about having children fast. I have heard comments from both of them about how they don't bother with women that have children. Like if you have a child with them, no other man will want you as much as if you were single I know that this is not completely true because I know plenty of Peruvian guys that have parejas that have children from previous men. But I think this may be true for some.

    About the visa thing. When I decided that the relationship with my husband was good, my plan was not to take him to my country. Unfortunately, Peruvians DO need visas for almost everywhere they go. I took him to Costa Rica for a few months, but when I quit my job, we had to come to Peru. It is always a good plan to hang out in Peru for a few years to test the relationship.

    Peruvians can be like any other man and tell you the things that you want to hear (not all of them though). Make a man show you that you have his heart before you do anything for him. Be careful, and like I said, come to Peru and test the relationship.

  10. Ok, congrats. Glad it worked out. I'm happily married. And extremely happy that I left Peru. Best decision I made.


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